I was reading my friend Sally's "Monday Mama Muse" on her blog last night and came across her most recent and amazing post about rediscovering yourself. I can't even believe the timing of it because this is a topic that I have been doing a lot of soul searching about lately. What do I like? Not, what does my mother, sister, friend, or the media tell me to like. What do I like? For a while it seemed I didn't even know. I was looking to the people around me to tell me what was good, what I should like.
As Sally so wisely observed and wrote in her post, kids know who they are. Kids know what they like.
I knew exactly who I was as a kid. I knew what I liked and I went with it. I truly didn't care what anyone thought of me. Then one day that changed. I'm supposing it occurred somewhere around the teenage years. At some point I think we all start to conform to the people around us a little, seeking out approval in order to fit in.
I've seen it happen to me as an adult after my daughter was born. I looked around and saw that I was a lone Graco in a sea of Bugaboo's. Thankfully my insecurities didn't push me into a $1,000 stroller purchase, but it sure did cross my mind. Not because I needed or wanted one, but because everyone else seemed to have one.
Anyhow, it didn't take long before my daughter outgrew the Graco and I became a Maclaren. When my son arrived, I was a second-hand Jane. I am now a Maclaren plus Buggy Board attachment.
I've been asking myself a lot of questions lately, both big and small to rediscover who I am.
Do I prefer to drink my coffee from a dainty china cup or a big sturdy mug? A big sturdy mug. Then why is my hutch full of paper thin china?
Is it the City or Suburbs?
Milk in my coffee or cream?
Are Ugg boots the greatest, or simply Ugg-ly?
Are you going to discover what it is YOU really want, or are you going to be a "I'll have what she's having" kind of girl?
The road to self discovery is a long one indeed.
What are the questions that you ask yourself?
I think we ALL wrestle with this question, both men and women. We're influenced by both people we respect and perfect strangers on the street. For so long, I identified with things my significant other liked. One day, long after we had split up, I realized I never really liked that crap; I only thought I did through osmosis (sp?).
ReplyDeleteExcellent topic, Anne Marie. Food for thought.
Thanks Alicia! I started reading The Four Agreements again too. Have you read that one? Not exactly the same read as Simple Abundance but there's a consistent theme going on between both books about how we all seek approval and The Four Agreements author points out that it all starts out for us when we're kids seeking approval from our parents and teachers, etc....you're a good girl/boy if you do as I say (conform to my belief system, etc.) or you're a bad boy/girl if you do not, and then the shame that follows when we don't live up to other people's expectations of us. It made a lot of sense to me. I definitely want to explore this topic more and do a blog post about it when I'm feeling so inspired!
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