Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Red Wine Blues

My sister, Joanne, is a proud new condo owner. She bought a brand new unit, in a brand new building, and it is beautiful. The apartment features granite counter tops, hardwood floors, and the latest stainless steel appliances. My very favorite feature is that the bathroom floor heats up with a touch of a tiny little button.

I'm so excited to sleep over one night this Winter, just so I can shower there and use this feature. I can't wait. No more cold bathroom floors for me. My little tootsies are going to be pampered, even if it is just for one morning.

She bought everything brand new, for her brand new place. Everything... from her beautiful new furniture to the free-standing toilet paper holder she purchased for her fancy new bathroom.

So, you can imagine how pissed she was, and how sick and nervous I felt, when the kids and I came over for a visit, and my son knocked the tray table over, which held the glass of red wine that I had just poured myself, and the contents of which splattered all over her brand new living room, in her brand new pristine condo.

The poor little guy just learned how to walk backwards and he was happily showing off his new "talent."

Every single drop of red wine splattered all over her brand new hardwood floors, freshly painted walls and gorgeous sage green couch with tiny delicate stripes of cream and rust.

Both mine and my sister's reactions startled my son, who then started to cry. My sons crying startled my daughter, and then she started to cry. Both kids quickly ran into Joanne's bedroom and hid behind her dresser.

I wanted to hide too but I couldn't. I had A LOT of cleaning to do! Thankfully, for me and my bank account, I got every last drop of red wine out of the couch. I used a mixture of water and Dawn.

There's a new rule at Aunt Joannie's house and that is, no more red wine in the living room! 

I'm sure that after the painful memory has faded though, that she will permit it again.

Any suggestions on how to get red wine out of fabric for when it happens again?


  1. i think my next get together will have an "only clear beverages" theme :)- Joanne

  2. You are a very wise woman. I can think of many clear beverages that both the kids and we can enjoy! Thank God for the person who created white grape juice and the like. Also, I hear that Oxyclean is a fabulous product. Perhaps I should pick some up and keep it in the drawer I have at your place alongside the diapers and the wipes.